Why Did This Take So Long?

Let's get down to the nitty gritty. I have been staring at this dang blog for 4 years now. Officially, 4 years. Cause, you know, it's 2018. (I don't know how that happened). Nevertheless, I feel like the time between 2014 and the present has taught me many important lessons that will hopefully benefit someone reading this. Reasons it has taken me so long to pick up my blog could be labeled fear, worry, lies (to myself that my voice isn't important), and confusion (about whether anyone will hear my voice even if it is important). I started this blog somewhere around 2012 as a way to be an encouragement to my friends, and even to those who came across it that I didn't know. I was getting several thousand views on my blog when I found myself too busy to write. I even had friends, who I had no idea were paying attention, text me and ask me to please not stop writing. Then fast forward to now when everyone and their mama's best friend's son's girlfriend has a blog. I didn't want to seem like I was trying to follow everyone else's lead. I'm crazy, right? So, I have decided that the reasons for my hesitation are irrelevant to me and that I have a divine purpose. So whether or not anyone hears me and whether or not I'm worth listening to, I have a reason to share. 

There's a common phrase that is thrown around a lot nowadays. I'm out here "living my best life", people say. What does that even mean? And why is everyone saying it? I mean let's be real, If I'm living my best life I'm totally doomed cause your girl has a lot of work to do. I think there's something mighty beautiful about life that many individuals overlook, and a lot of people find it to be even an unsettling thought. That is, it is ever changing. Thank God I can find peace in knowing that those who are important will be near me, and circumstances that harm me will not stay. Thank God I can find comfort in bad days because I know tomorrow is a new one. Thank God I can find His strength in my weakness and His grace in my shortcomings. Thank God I can find His presence in my solitude and His gentleness in my stubbornness. Simply enough, I thank God that my life is an ever changing opportunity to be a young woman of passion, grace, love, encouragement, patience (I struggle), and light. 

I notice a lot of people who wallow in their circumstances. I mean, I get it. If you're not wallowing or on the mountain top odds are people aren't paying much attention. I just wish that others could understand this mindset that there's always a new day and there's always a new chance to make each day better than the last. If I had only found comfort in this sooner I would have saved myself a lot of panic. I hope I can save you some, whoever you may be. Please understand me when I say there is a better day for you. 

To round up this thought I'll leave you with this. I'm not a big believer in "new years resolutions". I think anyone can do anything they put their mind to, any time of the year. However, in the last few days, in my embarrassingly enough complete and utter laziness (I'm trying to enjoy the last few days of winter break in my PJ's of course), I've had a lot of time to think. If you know me, things get dangerous when I think too hard. Honestly though, I've been thinking about the girl I want to be. I've been thinking about the girl I'm striving for with each passing day and that girl has compassion without limits. So this is my first step, to open myself up to people for an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Me and Jesus are here if you need us. 

"In the day when I cried out, you answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul." - Psalm 138:3


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